Finding the Right Balance With Your Support Worker – Why Boundaries Keep Things on Track

Letting a support worker into your life is different from most other work relationships. They’re not like a plumber who comes, fixes a tap, and leaves. They see you in your day-to-day. They walk beside you, help with tasks, maybe share quiet time or come along to a group. And because of that closeness it’s easy for the line to blur. It feels normal. You talk, you laugh, you share moments. Sometimes it starts to feel more like a friendship. Nothing wrong with being friendly, but that’s where things can tip over and once they do, it can cause issues for both sides.

Boundaries matter here. People say the word and immediately think of “rules” or “limits”, but really it is just the safe space that keeps the relationship safe. It’s the thing that says this is support, not something else. Without it, you might find yourself paying for your worker’s lunch, or calling them late at night when they’re not rostered on, or maybe the worker starts using your support time for their errands. These things creep in quietly. At first they didn't seem serious. Later they start to feel wrong.

And it’s not just clients who need to think about it. Workers feel it too. If they get pulled too close, they carry stress, guilt, even burnout. Being on call emotionally all the time isn’t fair on them either. Boundaries stop that from happening. They make sure the connection is strong but balanced.

For bigger context, the Australian Human Rights Commission talks about why ethics and conduct matter in support work: humanrights.gov.au.

When being “friendly” turns into “friendship”

This is where most people get caught. Because you see your worker often, maybe more than family some weeks, and it feels natural to build that bond. And yes, kindness is good. Warmth is good. But their role is not to become friends themselves. Their role is to help you connect with friends, with community, with activities that keep you part of the world.

If you treat them like a friend, you can end up expecting things that don’t fit their role. You may seek some advice that they cannot possibly give, or you may want emotional support that causes them to feel depleted. They, instead, may begin to occupy areas that do not belong to them. It gets messy.

That’s why the NDIS Commission Code of Conduct makes it clear how workers should act and why professional roles must stay professional: ndiscommission.gov.au.

Why the guidelines exist at all

People roll their eyes sometimes at “ethical rules,” like it’s red tape. But without them there’s no protection. They stop workers from taking gifts that could create pressure, they stop clients from oversharing or being put in uncomfortable situations, they make sure the worker has the right training before stepping into care. They keep the whole thing safe.

The Department of Health and Aged Care explains how ethics connect with aged care and disability services: health.gov.au.

Privacy and confidentiality aren’t optional

Your personal life is yours. A worker doesn’t need to know more than what helps them do the job. If they do know something, it stays private. Confidentiality means not talking about you outside of the role. Not sharing details with mates. Not gossiping. Only if it’s required for the work, like with a supervisor, and even then with respect.

If you want to look deeper into rights around privacy in Australia, the Office of the Australian Information Commissioner (OAIC) covers it well: oaic.gov.au.

How to set the line early

Once boundaries slip, it’s hard to reset. Easier to set them right at the start. When you first meet a worker, talk about expectations. What’s okay, what’s not, how you like to be contacted, what their role includes.

Keep to agreed hours. Keep conversations professional but human. Make the line visible so both sides know where they stand. It saves problems later.

Boundaries don’t mean distance

A lot of people think boundaries make the relationship cold. The truth is the opposite. When you both know where the limits are, you don’t have to worry. You relax more because you know the support is steady. You can still have laughs, still enjoy the time, still build trust. It just stays in the right lane.

Boundaries stop resentment, they stop guilt. They protect the trust, and they keep the support focused on what it’s supposed to do: help you live the life you want.

After all, maintaining boundaries is not about closing anyone out. It is concerned with ensuring that the relationship remains healthy. Respecting your dignity, the wellbeing of the worker and keeping the relationship strong without it becoming something it is not. When in doubt, use the Code of Conduct as a guide and an open discussion will always set things straight.

Boundaries don’t close doors. They keep the right ones open.